I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
