i love accidental penises.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
