The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
