I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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