I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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