He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
even my farts smell like vagina
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm always down for nudity.
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