That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I cockslap morals
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
