He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
