Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Barsexuality is the new black.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
