Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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