I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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