OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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