its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
