How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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