just tell him i said nine months
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
