Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He better not be in your backpack
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
