the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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