We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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