You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
