I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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