Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
