But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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