problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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