i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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