my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize