I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
