my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
