Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
