C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
