she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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