After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
