Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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