So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
