My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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