you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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