Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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