I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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