ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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