We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
