Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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