i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
