I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
