I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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