he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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