Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize