I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
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Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
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There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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