No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
