just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
