I hate your face
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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