Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
