I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
