Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
