Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
