did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
