i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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