So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
if i can run in heels then i can drive
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize