No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
