I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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