I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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