16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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