She is in my trunk
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
