i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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