very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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