i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
