Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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