My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
