i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
