i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
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Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
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Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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